Evan Grm: “I don’t know what pride is for you”

Prva parada ponosa v Mariboru, 29. 6. 2019. Fotografija: 24ur.com

A Proud Poem

Disclaimer: Pesem je nastala kot spontan odziv avtorice_ja na nedavne izkušnje z mariborske parade ponosa, ki je potekala v soboto, 29. 6., kot prva parada ponosa v Mariboru. Pesem ne predstavlja in ne želi predstavljati mnenja in izkušenj vseh LGBTIQ posameznic_kov ali skupin. Prav tako avtor_ica pri sebi priznava možnost med seboj nasprotujočih si občutkov glede izkušenj, ki torej niso samo negativni ali pozitivni. Vesel_a je, da se je pride zgodil in zdi se ji_mu pomemben mejnik. Bil_a pa bi še bolj vesel_a, če bi se o tem in drugih pojavih lahko pogovarjale_i in razmišljale_i skupaj in ne samo preko reakcij na spletu.


Disclaimer: The poem is a spontaneous reaction of its author’s experience of Maribor pride parade that took place on June 29th and was the first ever pride in Maribor. The poem does not and does not wish to represent opinions of all LGBTIQ individuals or groups. The author acknowledges the possibility to have different, sometimes even opposing feelings about an experience – that are not exclusively positive or negative. They are very happy that Maribor pride happened and see it as an important milestone for Slovenia and Slovenian LGBTIQ communities. They would also be very glad to have important conversations, such as how to react to violence at pride parades, that go beyond comments on social media.

A Proud Poem

Love is love is love.
But what is Pride
if not a manifestation,
a cry for freedom
and by freedom I mean
the right of every one of us
to be and live as
who we are?

I don’t know why you’re here at Pride,
but I sure as hell did not come here
just to swallow mine
or to smile at people
or look away
or to convince myself that

Ignoring hate and humiliation
to appeal to
passers-by and
is not how I imagine Pride.

I’ll admit I did not come
to hug or empathize
with people who will euthanize
the truth that is
my family
by spewing hate across
the square of Liberty
or – to ignore them,
for that matter,
for I know better
than to allow
the spatter of their putrid words
to echo so loud
I cannot hear the speakers
talking about Pride.

I don’t know what pride is for you
if not a NO
to hate and their wish to humiliate
re rainbows and balloons
where your pride begins and ends?
Cos’ I can see then how you
might not understand
that pride for me
and for my family
is something else entirely.

What happened to Pride
that’s a reaction to oppression
is that not why you’re here?

And did you care to ask
the activist on stage
who left accompanied by cops –
if he’s ok?
Or did you just think
Wow so brave
and fab
but then forgot
in reality
Pride means solidarity
and what is solidarity
if not reacting in some shape or form?

None of us are perfect
I’ll give you that,
I’m sure we all just do our best
but I have to say
being censored by this crowd
hurt more than any
hate from the outside.

It is truly nice
that you felt great
cos’ pride is our holiday
but my Pride
was attacked from beginning
till the end
also by you not doing anything.

I’m sorry if I wasn’t able
to enjoy
the rainbows and the Pride
I had to be
with my family
that got harassed
again and
again and

So think again
when you feel
like the only thing
you have to offer
is feedback on our work
our looks
and our way
to counter hate
for there is no Pride
when some of us are left behind.

Yes, we are all different
and that’s allright,
there’s space for all of us at Pride,
but don’t you try
to silence
this family of mine.

Never try to silence
anyone who came to Pride
to be true
and real
and proud
– f
or that is not pride.

Evan Grm